In Comparison

Death by comparison. Okay, what?

Admit it, most everything we do in life started out as an idea in our head. If we would’ve not thought it we would never be where we are today.

They were once dreams, a fantasy, an idea, and just something that we could not shake. We had to bring it forth. But not all things come to light. Some things die even before we’ve realized them or had more than a minute to allow them to breathe and take shape. Why?

Comparison is like a dark companion that you can’t really see too clearly until you find yourself regretting choices you made after the fact. Maybe you see or hear it while in contemplation of the dream and you keep hoping to somehow shut it off. Dreams often die because comparison played a part in deciding whether we were hungry enough to keep the dream alive. Wouldn’t you say so? I know I would.

Lately, I have been contemplating learning a new skill. Now it’s not exactly a new idea. It’s actually an old dream.

When I was actually kid (remembering that I grew up with very little) we used to have a radio, which was our only source of entertainment and news. But I would listen to it all the time. I heard the news, a bit of music now and again, some drama theatre, the weather, and classical music. I heard symphonies and I used to wonder how people could enjoy it all? I was young so if it didn’t sound like Elvis Presley or the Eurythmics I wasn’t all that interested. But there were times where they would play these orchestrations of music with a distinct sound of the violin. I used to liked that.

Over the years whenever there was music that was played live I would automatically be in tuned for the violin. I thought and still do think that without a violin in music everything falls flat. In some cases, not all. Of course, I’m not an expert but my ears know what they like when it comes to sound.

I, first thought about learning back in 2012 but I let the thought die because of comparison. I had no musical background, I knew very little about reading music and the thoughts went on until I found myself saying, maybe I should just remain a fan of people like Lynsey Stirling and Fuse. I gave myself no credit and left it at that.

So where does this leave me? After some thought and rambling about why, what, or who I dedicate my love of this extraordinary instrument to. I owe it to me. I may never be as good as others I’ve heard but I believe that love can do a lot of amazing things. That girl who sat on a bed long ago, listening to the amazing sound, was actually in love with the violin. There will be a lot of things to learn but I have plenty of time because I live a life of solitude, with room to create whatever my heart desires. I’ve already peeked down this road once, this time I want to know where this road goes.

Call me a dreamer. But I bought a ticket for happiness when I began this year and I plan to use it.

Thanks for reading.

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